


No Joke

by silentterror



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Biting, Drabble, Fluff and Crack, Gen, M/M, Mention of blood, Oblivious Ken, Prompt Fic, Vampire Leo, but it is there, the wontaek is minor and only at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 11:32:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7756132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentterror/pseuds/silentterror
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Taekwoon has tried many times to tell his friend and roommate, Jaehwan, that he is a vampire. But the damn human just doesn't seem to want to listen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Joke

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aiwyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aiwyn/gifts).



> Happy Birthday, Aiwyn~! I hope you enjoy this mess. :3
> 
> This was fic inspired by a prompt sent within a group chat, so I have no idea who to credit for the prompt. It really is just a bunch of drabbles of different scenes from when Taek has tried to tell Jaehwan he is a vampire.  
> And yes, it is named from the Block B song, because I am trash and can only name my fics from lines in the story or a song on my phone.
> 
> Anyways, onto the Vamp Crack Fic.
> 
> Shoutout to [Kaela](http://archiveofourown.org/users/nunastro/pseuds/nunastro) for beta-ing for me~! Love you lots! :)

"Hyung~!" called a voice from the entrance hall of the apartment. The call was met with silence, as the only other being in the house was drinking from a glass and reading a book. "Oooh, hyung is that wine? Can I have a sip? I haven't had wine in ages, but I have to go to work and can't drink a full glass," the owner of the voice, Jaehwan, whined as he plopped down unceremoniously onto the couch beside the tall man with shoulder length black hair.

"No," said the man in such a quiet voice that Jaehwan would have missed it if he wasn't used to the way his roommate spoke.

"Awww, why?" the younger man whined, once again.

"Because it is blood," Taekwoon, the pale man said, his voice soft and deadpan.

"Ha, ha, ha. Real funny, Taekwoon-hyung. If you don't want me to drink your wine, you could just say so," Jaehwan said as he stood up abruptly and stormed off toward his room. Taekwoon was left sitting on the couch, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

* * *

"Wake up hyung! It's already 2 o'clock!" Jaehwan whined directly into the ear of his older roommate. The other man made no movement or recognition to signal he had heard the whining.  "Hyung~!" the younger man moaned again, this time earning a thwap to the side of this head from the closest pillow within Taekwoon's reach.

"Hyung~! Why do you always sleep until nighttime~? You're not a vampire! The sun won't kill you!" Jaehwan whined once again, this time slumping down to be laying on the black haired man's chest.

"Yes, I am," Taekwoon said in a quiet, gravelly voice.

"Hyung, you have to stop these jokes. It is time to grow up, we aren't kids," Jaehwan said, his voice muffled slightly from where his mouth was partially pressed into the other's clavicle.

Abruptly, Taekwoon sat up and said, "I'm up, now go away," before he pushed the younger man off of the bed.

"Fine. Whatever you want, hyung," the sandy-brown haired man said before he stomped away, presumably to make something to eat for dinner.

Taekwoon flopped onto his stomach before letting out a long groan into the pillow.

* * *

"Hyung! Dinner is done~!" Jaehwan called through the apartment as he set the cooling glass dish on pot holders on the table.

"Smells good," said a soft voice from directly behind Jaehwan, successfully scaring the younger man and making him jump near out of his skin.

"Jesus, Taekwoon-hyung! I thought I told you to stop sneaking up on me," the brown haired man pouted as he pulled out a seat at the small dining table and sat down.

"Sorry," Taekwoon mumbled before he sat down at the table as well. It was then the older man noticed what was the main dish for the meal.

"Did you put garlic in it?" he asked, eyeing the lasagna set beautifully in front of him.

"Did I what? How can you make lasagna without garlic?" Jaehwan sputtered out.

"Hwan-ah, this is why I make dinner. I can't have garlic. It'll kill me," ok, maybe he was exaggerating. Garlic won't kill him per se, but it will make him severely sick.

"But you said you don't have any allergies! And you have made food with garlic before! Just a few days ago you made spaghetti and I know it had garlic in it," Jaehwan said, his voice rising as he stood up. 

"I add garlic to your portions. And I don't have any allergies. I am a vampire," Taekwoon said, his voice remaining at the same volume, but coming out choppy through his clenched teeth.

"God Taekwoon! If you didn't want to eat my food, you could have just said so! Why are you always so passive aggressive!?" the younger man yelled as he stormed away, the sound of his bedroom door slamming shut ringing after him.

Taekwoon could feel his fangs elongating with his anger, but he took a few deep breaths to quell his temper. No one needed to know about the claw marks on the table or in his palms.

* * *

"Hyung, just stop. I don't care. I don't want your apologies or excuses right now. Just leave me alone okay?" Jaehwan said, his voice slowly becoming sadder.

Taekwoon looked at the back of his friend with guilt and despair and quietly said, "but, Hwanie.."

Jaehwan swung around to look at the older and yelled, "Just get out, already!"

With those words, it was done. Taekwoon had no other choice but to leave. His biology and history forced him out of the door of his own apartment. He didn't even have time to grab a jacket or his wallet. He had survived with much less, but that was long before the modern world.

Suddenly feeling very lost and overwhelmed, Taekwoon allowed his feet to guide him toward the park that was just outside of his neighborhood. The sun was already set and the remaining light in the sky was slowing fading into ink. The park was barren aside from the occasional woodland creature that had lost it's way.

Taekwoon sat down on a swing and stared at his feet. He had hurt Jaehwan without meaning to. In hindsight, he realizes he could have avoided the situation, but Taekwoon had never put two and two together. 

Taekwoon had just started going on dates with a man named Wonshik. He was funny, and playful, and he never harassed Taekwoon about his quiet and soft nature. Wonshik had a kind soul, and Taekwoon was genuinely surprised at meeting someone like him in the current time period.

A month or so ago, Jaehwan had told Taekwoon about a crush he had developed on his friend and coworker, Wonshik. Taekwoon had never imagined it was the same Wonshik, he didn't even know where Wonshik worked. He, however, found out they were the same person when Wonshik was gushing to Jaehwan about the man he was beginning to date named Taekwoon. Hurt, Jaehwan had confronted Taekwoon the moment the younger man walked through the door of their shared apartment. And now here Taekwoon was, kicked out of his own apartment and not even able to go back to apologize due to his cursed nature.

Taekwoon had only been sitting in his own remorse for roughly 20 minutes when the sky opened up and an onslaught of water came falling from the clouds. The pale moon looked up into the sky, his long hair beginning to saturate with the rain. He let out a long, suffering sigh and continued to swing gently on the playground.

It wasn't until a bright flash of light, followed immediately by a deafening crash, streaked through the sky that Taekwoon decided to test his luck and head home. By now, his bones were shaking and his skin was thoroughly washed, but he was still unable to enter his apartment. After climbing the stairs to his landing, Taekwoon could feel the energy of repellent that had been placed unintentionally by Jaehwan.  Despite his fatigued mind and body, Taekwoon was able to push through the energy and knock gently on his apartment door.

"Hyung!? What are you doing? I thought you went to Hakyeon's! You look positively soaked, you should go dry up," Jaehwan said, worry permeating every word, but he had yet to properly ask Taekwoon to cross the threshold.

"Why are you just standing there, hyung? Are you sick? You really need to go change and get dry," Jaehwan obviously had never listened to Taekwoon when he tried to explain that he was a vampire.

"You have to invite me in," Taekwoon said in a very quiet, defeated voice.

"What? Why? This is your home, hyung!" Jaehwan exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air in exasperation.

"Please, Hwanie," Taekwoon whined, which made Jaehwan freeze with shock. Taekwoon never whined or begged for anything aside from food.

"Please come in, hyung," Jaehwan said, still in shock at his friend's actions.

Taekwoon could feel the relief as he stepped over the threshold of his door. There was no greater feeling than coming home, especially after being kicked out.

"Hyung," Jaehwan began, but was interrupted before he could gather his thoughts.

"I'm sorry for the Wonshik thing," Taekwoon said quickly, but quietly.

"It is okay, hyung. I overreacted. I was starting to get over my crush, anyways," the younger of the friends said with a small smile.

"I'm going to bed now," the black haired man said as he walked into his room, water still dripping from his frame.

* * *

"Oh my god, not on the couch for Christ's sake!" cried Jaehwan, after walking into the apartment and seeing Taekwoon's mouth attached to Wonshik's neck.

The oldest of the group quickly detached from his boyfriend, his cheeks the color of the liquid he was wiping from his mouth... wait what?

"What the fuck, Taekwoon?! I knew you were weird but really? Blood?" Jaehwan screeched.

The room was silent for a few minutes before Wonshik, who was pressing on his neck throughout the exchange, had looked at his friend and spoken up, "Hyung, please for the love of all things good in this world, tell me you are joking."

"Why would I joke about something like this?!" the brown haired man cried in offense.

"You have lived with Taekwoon-hyung for almost a year, surely by now you have figured out that he is not human," Wonshik trailed off as Taekwoon casually pulled his hand away from his neck to inspect the wound.

"What?!" Jaehwan cried in despair and confusion. "What do you mean 'not human'? Of course he is human! He eats, sleeps, and breathes doesn't he?!"

"Jaehwan, I have been trying to tell you for months now... I'm not human, I'm vampire," Taekwoon said, still looking at his boyfriend's neck, his cheeks still a bright red, however.

"What the fuck have I got myself into?" Jaehwan mumbled to himself before teetering his way back towards his room.

"He'll come around, hyung. Don't worry. In the meantime, care to pick up where we left off?" the blonde haired man said, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

"Bedroom," Taekwoon said very quietly, before picking his boyfriend up bridal style and walking them to his bedroom.

* * *

 

"Ok, I have decided. I don't care if you are vampire. I don't care if you fuck Wonshik. I don't care if you drink his blood. I don't care if you do it in the living room. Just for my sanity, please don't get blood on anything. It is a bitch to cleanup and we all know I will be the one doing the cleaning."

"Okay."

"Jesus Christ! I was joking when I said I don't care if you fuck in the living room!"  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at/with me on [tumblr](http://silent-terrorx.tumblr.com/)~


End file.
